boost for blair: uk to host 'Global Marijuana Music Awards 2006'

TONY BLAIR will be over the moon: Not only has the UK won the Olympic bid, but now 'Merry Britain' has also been chosen to host the 'Global Marijuana Music Awards 2006' in what some will see as a further blow to Paris and worldwide alcoholism.

With the highest consumption of cannabis in Europe, Blair's Britain was always a front runner against the French bid, despite their close historical connections with Morocco, which supplies about 80% of the E.U. market for hashish.

The 'Global Marijuana Music Awards 2006' to be held in Britain will be the third such event, following previous 'Marijuana Music Awards' at the Seattle Hemp Fest in the USA (2004), and at the Nimbin 'MardiGrass' festival in Australia (2005).

The news that Britain has been chosen to host the event may be a welcome 'feel good' boost to the LABOUR PARTY CONFERENCE now underway, as it reels from the rash of attacks on pensioners within their midst, and the recent arrest of the 'Cannabis Grandma', plus todays 'Evening Standard' exposure of wide spread cocaine use amongst the partying 'comrades', which could endanger their various modeling contracts.

INSIDERS say the good news about the 'Global Marijuana Music Awards' coming to Britain could also mean that guitar playing 'party man' Tony Blair will now be more likly to step down soon to give him time to work on a few tracks, while interest rates may lower thanks to the expected boost in tourism. Extra tourist cash for London will also help beleagured Marks & Spencers, British Airways, and top London head shop 'So High Soho', plus newt lover and 'Mayor of London' Ken Livingstone, who supports cannabis decriminalisation, but has yet to go further.

'New Labour' sources also rushed to discredit stories sweeping the conference floor that the bass player in Blair's 1970's rock band 'Ugly Rumors' was allegedly a cannabis dealer. Apparently the name for the band was chosen because if you hold the 'Mars Hotel' album by the 'Grateful Dead' upside down in the mirror, the stars spell the words 'ugly rumors'. We can't help wondering what else they were doing with "the mirror".

FAR AWAY from the spinning world of "Class A' politics, 'News of the Weed' met up with 'Marijuana Music Award' organisers 'Rainbow Records', at London's plush 'Access All Areas' centre, one of the hubs of the ever mutating UK dance and 'party' scene, based in the vibrant bohemian quarter of Kentish Town.

Rainbow Records have just moved to London (also known as 'The Big Smoke'), from Australia's marijuana mecca 'Nimbin'. This is the OZ town famous for it's hedonistic annual 'MardiGrass' festival in May, where 'the biggest joint in the world' is paraded though the town, surrounded by beautiful dancing girls and large crowds of fresh faced, healthy looking people, high on the 'holy herb'. Next year the Nimbonians are "thinking of" walking the 'Big Joint', which is 12 meters long, to Canberra, which would put Mao Tse Tungs 'Long March' into the pale.

Other attractions at the Nimbin 'MardiGrass include the 'Joint Rolling Gold Medal' for the 'Speed Roll' which this year was won by Smurf in 22 seconds for the standard 3 paper and filter, a new record. Bob the Builder won the 'Creative Roll' with a model of Schapelle Corby behind bars for 20 years in Indonesia. When the joint was lit the jail burnt down, and she was free!

Nimbin was also not surprisingly a perfect location for this years 'Global Marijuana Music Awards' (2005).

Just to give you an idea of the scope of the Awards here is a full list of this years winners at Nimbin:

Winners included the 'Spliffmasters'for Best Recorded Track, and the 'Herballists' who flew in from Philadelphia (best live act). Album of the year was 'Hit After Hit' by Marijuana The Band from California, Best RAP was 'How We Do It' by The Individuals from Chicago who also won the Reggae section with 'Blaze It Up'. 'Marijuana The Band' by Marijuana The Band from California was the best rock track, 'Steady High' by Rich Hardesty from Indiana won the Pop Section, best Country music track was 'The Dooby Song' by Rich Hardesty from Indiana, and the 'Experimental Section' was won with 'Dakka Damage' by The Stealth Beats from Tasmania. The Jazz section was won by the 'Back Porch Vipers' from Texas who also won the Blues Section with 'When I get Low'. Best comedy was 'My Dog' by Mona Lizard from Nimbin, 'Car Pool Mom' by Paul Bullock from Texas won the poetry section, and the winner of the 'Instrumental Section' was 'Symphony in Grass' by Andy & Tim from Sweden.

The doors are now open for 'Global Marijuana Music Award 2006' entries (the fee is just £10). There is a lot more information on the Rainbow Records website. Watch this space.